Armchair GM

Armchair GM – v10

December 27, 2011
11 minutes read
Armchair GM – v10

The Nightmare Before Christmas & New Little Big Board

Lights Out!

Am I wrong, or when the lights go out don’t the monsters come out from under your bed? I wish I could have hid with the covers over my head during that 9’ers game. It’s very difficult to sift through how Horrible That Was.

The Steelers haven’t given me much to write about this season, because THEY REFUSE TO ADDRESS GLARING PROBLEMS THAT ARE OBVIOUS TO EVEN THE CASUAL FAN AND THEY HAVE BEEN IGNORNG THEM FOR YEARS! Let me count the ways:

1. FIRE BRUCE ARIANS! DO IT NOW!!!. I swear my heart sank as soon as he resumed the play calling after Ben had been in no huddle. WHAT WAS UP WITH THOSE STUPID-ASS RUNNING PLAYS??? I knew we were sunk. The other problem is he is a voice in Ben’s head that Ben Doesn’t Need! QB Coach Randy Fitchner should assume Arians’ duties for the rest of the season. 3 Frickin’ Points when we have all the Weapons we do? Ward, Wallace, Brown, Miller, Mendenhall and 3 Points?

2. We went from being in the Driver’s Seat to be #1 Seed back to Wildcard. Unbelievable Loss of an Opportunity. We have lost that advantage now. Now we are in the backseat on the bitch side.

3. Ben should not have been playing. I know he’s a tough guy, but with our O-Line he should have been a tough guy on crutches. Rest him for remainder of the season so we have him for the playoffs. Why didn’t they take him out of the game after the 25th Sack? He is not indestructible.

4. THE ‘O’ MUST GO! (You’ll see what I mean when you read my New Little Big Board)

5. Dark Lord Chancellor God-El needs to hot tub with Tom Brady. The Rooney’s need to take that bitch out. He has no place in football. They have the ear of the President and all the guys on the Southside for Cripes Sake. Someone must be able to chase that Jack-Wagon away. He should be the Commissioner of Figure Skating. He can fine and suspend Brian Boitano for excessive Ice Prancing. James did nothing wrong and it severely hurt our season.

6. Am I wrong or did that really seem like a nightmare?

Well, I had to reshuffle my Draft order based on that Focockta Mess.

New 2012 Little Big Board (You may remember some of this from previous posts)

Rd 1 – CB

Rd 2 – OG-OT


Rd 4 – OL

Chase Minnifield Virginia

Nate Potter OT-OG Boise St.

Ryan Tannehill QBWR T A&M

Kevin Zietler OG Wisconsin

Alonzo Denard Nebraska

Ricky Wagner LT Wisconsin

Kirk Cousins QB Mich. St.

Markus Zusevics OL Iowa

Dre Kirkpatrick CB Alabama *

Levy Adcock OT Ok. St.

Nick Foles QB Arizona

Al Netter OL Northwestern

Stephon Gilmore CB-PR S. Car. *

David DeCastro G Stanford *

Brandon Weeden QB OK.St

Michael Brewster OG/C Ohio St.

Cliff Harris CB-PR Oregon *

Riley Reiff OT Iowa *

Case Keenam QB Houston

Blake DeChristopher OL V. T.





Rd 5 – S

Rd 6  OL

Rd 7 PK or CB

Free Agents

Aaron Henry FS Wisconsin

Josh Oglesbay OL Wisconsin

Randy Bullock PK Tex. A&M

Jake Stoneburner TE Ohio St.

Rashard Hall S Clemson *

David Pickard OL S. Illinois

Danny Hrapman PK S. Miss

Derek Moye WR Penn St.

Trumaine Johnson FS Montana

Alex Hurst OL LSU


Hebron Fangupo NT BYU

Blake Gideon FS Texas

Don Barclay OL WVU

Tashawn Gipson CB Wyoming

Delvin Johnson NT Marshall

Winston Guy S Kentucky

Andrew Datko OT Fla. St.

Isiah Frey CB Nevada




Trevin Wade CB Arizonza

Darius Fleming OLB Notre Dame

* = Underclassman



Matt Conrath DE Virginia


Rd 1 – Chase Minnifield Virginia – CB – The son of Pro Bowl CB Frank Minnifield. I know we are El-Stinko and El-Floppo with our O-Line, but I don’t see any Linemen we will be able to get worth a First Round pick. Keenan Lewis is emerging and seems to be out of Mike Tomlin’s doghouse and William Gay’s play has stepped up, but we need more talent at this position.

Rd 2 – Nate Potter – Boise St. – OG-OT – 6-6, 320, He can bring help at both the inside and outside O-line. I’m thinking Left Guard you need to be smart to play that position. Potter is, Chris Kemoeatu is not. We will need to keep chipping away at this in the draft as the Steelers seem hell-bent on making sure Big Ben has a career ending injury.

Rd 3 – Ryan Tannehill – Texas A&M – QB-WR-Athlete-P – Tannehill is big, 6-4, 220, Can play QB, WR and would give Ben the big target he wants. So you get a back-up QB, a Wide Receiver and reserve Punter all in one pick. Damn I love versatile players. Great Hands. He is loved by his teammates, totally self-less, (switched to WR, when he was asked to) and a winner. And since the NFL removed the 3rd QB option, all teams will need a Slash as number three. It all depends on how deep we are in the draft. I had him at #1 in my first preview. His stock dropped because of some suspect games and a lack of experience at the QB position. We need to start planning for the career ending injury that Ben is going to have.

Rd 4 – Kevin Zeitler Wisconsin OG – From the O-Line factory of Wisconsin. Zietler is a great pulling guard that plays a smart game. These guys are so good because Wisconsin runs a pro-style system, they are excellently coached and the school only recruits the best talent. Iowa does a great job too. Wow, is O-Line talent the key to a successful Offense? Inquiring minds want to know.

Rd 5 – Aaron Henry – Wisconsin – SS-FS-CB-KR – A hard-hitting ball hawk. 51 tackles with three tackles for a loss, three interceptions and three passes broken up. We need to find a future replacement for one of my favorite players, Ryan Clark, a good back-up for Troy and you can always use a guy that can play CB in a pinch. The way all the lines are getting blurred on Defense a lot of the time the Safety ends up playing Nickel or Dime.

Rd 6  – Josh Oglesbay – Wisonsin – OT – I mean you’re really looking for a back-up at this point in the draft, the guy’s injury prone, but when he’s healthy he’s very good. I believe anything to get Jonathan Scott off our team would be a good thing. I know a guy, ‘Big Ed’ from the Southside, he could block better than Scott, and Ed’s 54 years old. Oglesbay is also a Wisconsin guy.

Rd 7 – Randy Bullock – Georgia – PK – I don’t like the look in Shaun Suisham’s eyes when the game is on the line and he thinks he’s going to be called on. 25-of-29 on field goal attempts. On extra points, Bullock is 52-of-54. Longest of 50 so his leg hasn’t really been tested.

In Closing

Well, you can see I hit the O-Line hard because we have to clear out 3 players, Jonathan Scott, Trai Essex and Chris Kemoeatu do not know how to play their positions. I think Essex and Scott need to be Ex-Steelers. I was thinking the same about Chris K., but last night I had this crazy idea. (I have those a lot, by the way.) Chris K. has been playing on the wrong side of the ball his whole career. We could try him Nose Tackle. He’s easily stupid enough to play that position and he likes nothing more than pushing people around. His brother played that position. I think he could be a decent back-up to Casey Hampton.

I want to give a Big Shout Out to my Friends at:


They are always the place I start for doing my Draft Research, check them out. Thanks Guys.

Here’s the Website to my place and future home of the most Kick-Ass Steelers Bar in the Ohio Valley.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and a Happy Holiday of your choice.

Go Stillers!

Jeffrey Burton

92 posts

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