by Leah H.
Sigh. Boy has it been rough this year. Now 2-5 with an injury-riddled offensive line, running woes, a lack of defensive turnovers—and that’s just scratching the surface. Yes, it’s a bylaw in the Declaration of Stillers Nation that your fingers need be crossed week-in and week-out. That’s understood. But this?
The only thing that makes it worse is when you finally wipe the tears off your now seemingly faded Polamalu jersey and make your way out of your man cave, looking for someone to share your pain, only to be greeted by a cold, distant significant other giving you the oh so familiar “what’s wrong with you” look. That’s not the kind of domestic support you need to get you through the season.
See, when your house is divided—whether your significant other is not a Steelers fan, or worse, not a football fan at all—you may not be getting the understanding you deserve. Instead of consoling hugs after another defeat, you get furrowed brows and rejection. Or, instead of giving you the space you need while you pout post-game, a normal conversation at the kitchen sink becomes a personal attack on “why you let it get to you.” Inevitably, confrontation ensues.
If you are suffering from a significant other who just doesn’t get it, then you’re in luck.
To help resolve the frequent domestic disputes that come with being, or being involved with, a Steelers fan, a sports-specific prenuptial agreement has been written. Whether you’re the one who screams and rants at the TV every week or you’re the one who would like general Sunday hygiene reinstated, this document makes fair compromises for all parties.
Note: Ideally, this document should be signed at the beginning of the season so the ground rules are established well beforehand. But clever date-stamping (9/8/13 or before) can instantly make it retroactive.